Womack Report

July 17, 2007

Lunch and Talk

Filed under: General — Phillip Womack @ 9:42 pm

Good day today.

Had lunch with Dad. Talked about life. I haven’t sat and talked with him much lately, which was my fault and a shame. I’ve been more or less avoiding him because I’m stressed abou being unemployed and moody, and didn’t want to discuss it or evade the subject.

But, when I actually did just say, more or less, “I’m unemployed, I’m a little depressed and moody, I don’t know how to get in motion even though I know getting moving will help,” Dad was very encouraging. He’s generally very good like that.

This is a lesson I learn over and over, and never seem to remember. I do better and feel better when I talk to my family about the things that bother me. Even if it’s just talking a little bit. But my instinct is to clam up and pretend everything is OK, which just things worse.

That’s not to say there aren’t times to avoid running my mouth. Earlier this year, when I was trying to plan and visiting colleges, I think I was right to put that and related subjects on information lockdown while I figured things out. But that was a different case. That was me in good spirits and busy working out a plan. At that point, I was overloaded with advice and needed to constrain the problem so that I could attack it. Coping strategies for one situation aren’t necessarily suited to other situation.

Funny thing, too. I mentioned that I was feeling depressed and mopy, and Dad immediately said he understood and I had gotten that trait from him. Previously this year, I had a similar conversation with Mom and she was certain I got that trait from her. I suppose everyone gets depressed when they are idle too much, or at least a lot of people do. That matches up with past experience of mine watching other people. But it’s hard to connect what I see in other people to what’s happening to me, sometimes. Intellectually, I can acknowledge it, but my brain doesn’t actually believe that my problems are the same ones common to all mankind.

I look at my own internal foolishness sometimes and just have to smile fondly. Like a pet owner whose dog has gotten into some mischief. My foibles have dug under the fence again, and met me on the driveway wagging their tails. It’s not something to encourage, but it’s something you tell other people with the same troubles, and all have a good-natured chuckle. And tomorrow you try to fix the fence.

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